Someone in my family is dating someone that I can NOT stand.
I can think of several occasions in the past where this person has treated me differently then other family members but it didn't really sink in until November at a couple of family events. One was in my home. This person did 2 things directly to me that were deliberately mean. I was completely shocked by these 2 actions & did not say anything to this person at the time because I am not good with confrontation. Well a couple of weeks later I called up the family member to ask if I did anything to this person that would justify why they did what they did so that I could apologize. The family member said "No". Well right then & there is where the hate started building. Then a couple weeks after that I found out that this person knows that they have offended me & has yet to apologize!
I have seen this person several times since November & it is very difficult to be in the same room as them. I really just want to see this person go away like all the others who have hurt me in the past. But they have been dating for over a year & I don't know if that is going to happen. I know we are supposed to love our enemies but lets be honest here, I am not perfect. I honestly don't know how Jesus did it. I don't know how to forgive this person & not hate them.
What should I do?
oh man! that is sooo hard. I really do know what you mean for sure. I wonder what the deal is with this person. do you think they could be a little bit intimidated by you or jealous?? a lot of times when someone treats people like that it's out of their own insecurities.
ReplyDeleteI have a Sister in Law (already in the family :( ) who i really struggle with a lot. It's sad to me bc I know we could be great friends but instead I just feel like for some reason she doesn't like me. In December it was really getting to me and affecting me emotionally, I decided to just pray about it...and then realized that the energy I spent worrying about it, and the way it affected me wasn't worth it. AT family things I just had to start "pretending" like I didn't care. It was so HARD for me to get over. And I totally know how you're feeling.
Another option could be to approach this person about the situation. That Might clear up some things if theyre willing to speak openly and honestly with you. GOOD LUCK! Situations like that are no fun at all!!!
I have had similar situations. It's sooooo hard to not let that bother you when you know you didn't do anything wrong. I hated that. My best advice would be to first act like nothing is wrong and to act like it doesn't bother you because if you get that down then eventually you will realize the energy it takes to worry about it is so exhausting. That's what I did and then I was finally able to let it go. Then the other person sees that you are happy and more mature and starts to think about themselves and how they need to get over it and not act like a kid. Hopefully that makes sense. I just think that since I started acting like It didn't bother me it got easier for me to not let it bother me because that was so much better and less stressful in my life. Hope I don't sound retarded. For me, it's just nicer knowing that I am the bigger person and the happier one.
ReplyDeleteWOW, That is so weird because I went through the same thing with my sister in law! She HATED me when I came into the picture (FOR NO REASON) We all came to believe that It was because I was another woman and i had a large chest. ANyways it was a big deal we all went to 6 flags and she didnt want to sleep in the same hotel room as me! I had seriously NEVER done anything to her and she didnt like me for no reason! It was really frustrating, so it went on for a while like that until she said she went to the bishop or something like that and all the feeling she had towards me just dissapeared, I still never heard an apology from her to this day but let me tell you the hardest part was i started to hold a grudge against her because all i wanted was an apology, eventually it got awkward and we never spoke or looked at each other because now it was my issue, I was the one with the issue with her, It was the worst experience of my life, I started to really dislike her and got so angry knowing that she was able to get over everything but now im stuck with those same feelings she had with me, It got to the point to where i would cry over it because i was so upset and i just wanted her to apoligize.. all i wanted was for her to say sorry! but it finally got to when I just humbled myself and got on my knees and said the most humble prayer asking for help to get through this and that I can forgive her for what she did to me and also to stop having these angry feeling towards her and to just love her. Im telling you Stephanie as soon as I said "AMEN" Those feelings dissapeared and They have never returned, We are now good friends and talk and chat and text now. It's nice knowing that we are both ok with each other even though the beginning was rough for both of us. I just really needed gods help because I couldnt do it myself, the burden that lifted was amazing and i didnt feel so weighed down anymore, anyways thats my story i hope it helps you in some way shape or form, good luck to you i really hope you guys figure it out and when are we gunna hang? Love you stephanie! It's amazing with the lords help what things can help us in our life!
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Nessa